I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about the role of the church in the life of a believer. Some of this has stemmed from multiple discussions with friends and family members, and through it all, God has been refining some of my thinking.

Throughout the Bible, many mentions are made of the vital institution of the local church. Paul, who planted churches all over Asia and Europe, admonished believers in Hebrews 10:25 to not forsake the assembling together of believers. Earlier in Ephesians 2, Paul reminds that church members are not lone individuals, rather one body serving one purpose—that of glorifying God. “Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and of the household of God; And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone; In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord: In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit.” Ephesians 2:19-22.

It was the concept of one body, one spirit that caused me to think. Not only does Jesus use the picture of a body to describe the church, but he likens the church to being a bride. If the church is Christ’s bride, and He is our Bridegroom, shouldn’t the same principles of marriage detailed in the Bible apply to our relationship with our church, our church leaders, and our church members?

Marriage is one of the most lasting relationships you can enter—-one that Christ wants parted only through death. Couples, like church members, often experience tiffs, difficulties, and disagreements. But instead of walking out and transferring our membership over petty arguments, do you suppose God wants us to apply his principles of restoration? A disagreement over music is not Biblical grounds for divorce, so if you are at a church that you know God has led you to attend, is that Biblical grounds for leaving? How about a tiff over the personality of your youth pastor, or the dress of your newly ordained deacon’s second cousin-in-law? God has specific instructions for how you deal with these types of situations: “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” Colossians 3:13.

How about when it comes to your inter-church relationships? Are you spreading rumors or feeding into someone else’s discontent? Instead of bringing your issues PERSONALLY before the minister, are you telling anyone with an available ear how you would change or improve the way things are run? It’s easy to see the blind spots of those we are around the most, and I’m definitely guilty of spreading my $0.02′s worth of discontent to others.

Cheating can be defined as the actions of a person who is being unfaithful physically or emotionally. In the same way as a husband can cheat on his wife, a person can cheat on his church. An unfaithful husband finds a listening ear to pour out his relationship woes. An unfaithful church member tells everyone who will listen about the faults of their church or church leadership. Instead of taking these situations to the throne room of grace, this person goes to another, non-involved third-party.

This is not to say that we dismiss the need for accountability or constructive criticism. Pastors, elders, deacons, and church members need to be held accountable and they are not perfect. But, like in a marriage relationship, it is imperative that the counsel is administered in love, and to the person who needs to make the change. If you don’t have the courage to tell someone their faults to their face, it is a shameful coward act to spread it around behind their backs.

I don’t pretend to have this whole concept figured out, but this is just what God has been convicting me over the past several weeks. It definitely is a lot of food for thought as I’ve pondered just what God means by his comparison between the body of Christ and a bride.

Of one thing, though, I am certain. If we were to practice the principle of comparing the church to a marriage relationship with Christ, I venture that we would see fewer splits, fewer factions, and ultimately, an increased bond of unity.