One of my favorite childhood television series was Road to Avonlea on Disney Channel.
Now thanks to the DVD release of the series, I’ve been able to enjoy the episodes for the second time. Although the series strays far away from Lucy Maud Montgomery’s Chronicles of Avonlea and The Story Girl—the initial inspiration for RTA—I have come to appreciate the wittiness and genius of its screenwriters.
“When your heart skips a beat, it isn’t love, its indigestion.” (Rachel Lynde)
“The devil’s in most people. Not me, mind you, but most.” (Hetty King)
“Mother, you’re much too indulgent with that boy. The Family Guide says that bad behavior must be nipped in the bud. Nipped in the bud!” (Felicity King)
“She was a lovely baby. It’s strange what happens to children when they grow up.” (Great Aunt Eliza)
“The only thing sillier than a girl making goo goo eyes at a young boy is some old bat making a fool out of herself for some old geezer.” (Rachel Lynde)
“Thank you, Gus. Beneath your vagabond clothing beats a heart of a gentleman.” (Felicity King)
“Honestly, Felicity. Sometimes I think you were buttoning up your boots when the Lord handed out brains!” (Sara Stanley)
Rachel Lynde: “Thomas and I always made it a point to settle our differences before going to bed at night.”
Hetty King: “Poor man must have died from lack of sleep.”
“I can see dull-wittedness runs in your family.” (Great Aunt Eliza)
“She may be a whole lot prettier than you, Felicity, but that means nothing to me.” (Gus Pike)
“Watch it don’t rain with your nose in the air like that. You might drown.” (Felix King)
“Captain Ezekiel Crane? Find a Treasure? That man couldn’t find the sky lying face upwards in a raft in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean!” (Hetty King)
“You have a secret admirer? Someone with addled wits and poor eyesight.” (Felicity King)
“This ugly little pinafore has a very big hem. It will last you for years. You can wear it to college, you can get married in it and then you can get buried in it.” (Sara Stanley)
“I have no tact. I am known for that.” (Rachel Lynde)
“”Just look at yourselves clucking around like a bunch of hens in a tight coop!” (Hetty King)
“Ya carry someone else’s burden for ‘em . . . Don’t ever expect them to get strong enough to carry on without ya.” (Gus Pike)
“Have you taken leave of your senses?” (Hetty King)
“I’m sorry for anything wrong I might have done. Did I do anything wrong, Sara?” (Cecily King)
“You’ll never marry either, Sara, if you can’t sew a straight line. No man will have you.” (Felicity King)
Great Aunt Eliza: “Empty vessels make the most noise”
Sara: “She means that the ones with the least in their heads are the first to say too much.”
“You’d actually trust the farm to Felix? He’d eat more than he could produce!” (Felicity King)
“Alright, Felix, here’s a tip. Don’t brush your teeth with a brick!” (Felicity King)
“I don’t call speaking the truth meddling!” (Rachel Lynde)
“I hope that’s addled your brains in the direction of common sense.” (Hetty King)
“Well, Miss Sara Stanley, I have never been so humiliated in all of my life! But I suppose you have been thrown out of much grander hotels than this.” (Felicity King)
