Neiman Marcus

If you ever doubted that our society has drifted from the true meaning of Christmas, you need look no further than Neiman Marcus’ annual Christmas Gift Book.

The retail giant released its latest edition today, and no offense to the shopping conglomerate, but the catalog is just a tad bit ostentatious.

A few selections from this year’s fare:

HIS & HERS: Life-Size Replica in LEGO® Bricks
“. . . It makes perfect sense to immortalize your own magnificent self with our 2008 His & Hers gifts. Send in detailed photos and measurements, then Nathan [Acclaimed artist Nathan Sawaya] gets to snapping and BOOM! One-of-a-kind, life-size sculptures of yourselves in LEGO bricks. We priced our exclusive gift individually, so Nathan can “brickalize” you and the S.O., the kids, Granny and/or anyone else you obsess about. (Just make sure you have the rights to their likenesses; we’re not here to judge.)
Price: $60,000.00

Jack Nicklaus Custom Backyard Course Package
“Jack will study topography, aerial photos, and landscape maps for the site, then send his team to survey the property. He’ll create a formal design plan and color renderings for up to three holes and a practice area, depending on the size of your back forty. Your construction crew builds from it, with supervision from Jack’s world-class design team (the same team pursued by premier club owners worldwide). Now to sink the winning putt; when your course is finished, the Golden Bear himself will stop by to play the first round with you, personally. More? He’ll sign his club and ball for your collection and throw in a custom set of Nicklaus clubs, including a personalized bag.”
Price: Starts at $1,000,000.00

Luxury Destination Wedding Package at The Resort at Pelican Hill®
“The ultimate resort setting on the breathtaking coast of Newport Beach, California. A personal event coach to take care of every detail. A couture wedding gown and bridesmaid dresses custom designed by Carolina Herrera. Up to 40 private ocean-view guest villas. Every detail exquisitely executed from the magical cake to the perfect flowers to the private celebrity entertainment at the reception. Our experience also includes resort events for the bridal party, a rehearsal dinner event, an after-reception party, and gourmet breakfast the next day for family and guests. Naturally, a wedding this grand could never be one size fits all.”
Price: Starts at $1,300,000.00

Three Chimneys Farm Thoroughbred Racing Stable Package
“For this exclusive package, you get the works because Three Chimneys means business. They will build you a stable of 12-15 thoroughbreds and with your input will train them, house them, select races, enter them in races, provide you a personal racing concierge, and manage the entire enterprise for the next four years. As the owner, you get to name your stable and any unnamed horses, design your own silks, attend races, pose for pictures, give quotes to the media … and keep all the purses and trophies.”
Price: $10,000,000.00

While I cannot imagine purchasing any of these items, they do serve a far better purpose. They show that not even a custom backyard golf course can buy you complete happiness on Christmas Day.

To have that, you must look for a humble manager in Bethlehem.